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summersome

by peter vilardi

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1.
i'm so tired 01:22
i’m so tired of writing songs i’m so tired of being strung along i’m so tired of your inspiration i’m so tired of remembering our late-night conversations and what you said i’m so tired i can’t get out of bed i’m so tired i can’t sleep at night i’m so tired of remembering the parts of you i like
2.
if i could change it all i wouldn’t change a thing i used to do it all now all i do is sing and play the night away and drink a lot until i’m not so sure that i ain’t wasting time but even so if i could change it all i wouldn’t even try not worried for the fall for the first time in my life i’m fine with drinking wine and now i dare to let my hair grow long but not too long, of course but even so if i could change it all i wouldn’t change a thing if i could change it all i wouldn’t change a thing if i could change it all i wouldn’t change a thing
3.
sundays 01:44
Sundays i wake up and go to work Sundays used to be i’d go to church Sundays waste away the afternoon Sundays are the days i reminisce over you some days i am lost and overcome Sundays spending hours in the sun someday you’ll be one more memory Sundays are the days i think of you and me you and me
4.
some of this 01:39
some of this is your fault some of this is mine most of this is nobody’s or is it all in my mind? fighting on the back porch fighting on the phone fighting in the coffee shop crying, running home and somehow i wondered how your mother is the other day and somehow i hope that everything’s OK some of this is your fault some of this is mine most of this is nobody’s or is it all in my mind? some of this is your fault some of this is mine most of this is nobody’s so let’s just give it time
5.
headlights 02:19
once upon a time i crossed the street at night and waited for the headlights to swallow me once upon a time i crossed the street at night and waited for the headlights to swallow me once upon a time i crossed the street at night and waited for the headlights to swallow me once upon a time i crossed the street at night and waited for the headlights to swallow me
6.
maybe one day you won’t want to hear this song and i won’t want to play it but for now i will write just what i feel and come right out and say it: you make me laugh and sigh and sing and crinkle up the corners of my mouth and when you hear me sing this song you know for sure that you’re who it’s about probably someday i will look back on this song and try my best to hate it but until then i will sing it without fear as though it were the greatest you’re warm and calm and sweet and kind and sad sometimes, but you know that’s OK and even when what we have ends i’ll think of you and smile as i play maybe one day you won’t want to hear this song and i won’t want to play it
7.
cleaning my room i found the card you made for me drawings you made and all the things you said to me happy birthday i love you so much i never did tell you how much it meant to me couldn’t throw out my one remaining memory happy birthday i love you so much
8.
last summer 01:22
i spent last summer at my grandma’s house we lived together day in and day out i drove to work on the other side of town she picked me up when i was feeling down i slept last autumn on my roommates’ couch i had no bed and so i did without my girlfriend said that i should get some help i didn’t know how to take care of myself i’ll spend this summer sleeping in my bed writing each thought that pops into my head although i can’t go back to my old house because last summer my father kicked me out
9.
i could make the best of a bad situation or i could up and go i could live a lie for a longer time or i could let you know the things that i’ve wanted to tell you believe me, some are unkind but, truthfully, only sometimes do you ever cross my mind i could give it up and cut my losses or try to explain i could say you won and hold my tongue or i could still complain the things that i’ve wanted to tell you you never did allow but now i’m beginning to realize i’ll never get through to you anyhow anyhow, anyhow, anyhow, no way no how i could make the best of a bad situation or i could up and go
10.
i don’t wanna go outside ‘cause i’m too tired and it’s too bright i don’t wanna go outside ‘cause i don’t like feeling so shy no, i don’t wanna go outside no, i don’t wanna go outside no, i don’t wanna go outside today i’m happy to stay here and while my hours away i don’t wanna go outside ‘cause the sunlight hurts my eyes i don’t wanna go outside ‘cause without you i cry no, i don’t wanna go outside no, i don’t wanna go outside no, i don’t wanna go outside until the day that you get here i promise you i will i will i will i will
11.
woke up by your side we lay there for a long, long time your face so close to mine we were listening to iron & wine “such great heights” you closed your eyes except for when the chorus came around then you’d open them and smile that was when i realized that i don’t want to leave your side for a long, long time and you held me and i cried and i cried and i cried
12.
on the lake 01:33
on the lake in kayaks down the run we go as the sun is setting over ohio on the lake in kayaks row, my brothers row on the lake in the summer deep in ohio
13.
strouds run 01:26
[instrumental]
14.
hudson 02:25
you cried when i got there you cried when i left i guess that’s something i’ll never forget you were happy to see me and sad i was gone i stayed up driving the two hours back home i traveled to see you ‘cause you couldn’t drive left at eight in the morning and then ten at night thinking about you now makes me so sad ‘cause all through that summer you were all that i had now i’ve a new love a new place to live they both make me happier than you ever did but still i remember you cried when i left i guess that’s something i’ll never never forget
15.
mother's day 02:04
why did you move my mother’s bed into the basement on mother’s day? why did you not hear what we said asking you not to on mother’s day? why did you make my brother cry? why did you make my sisters shout? why did you make my mother cry? why did you make me leave the house? why did you come back to our home and make my brother feel afraid? why did you try to work things out and force my family to move away? why did you shun your daughters’ words? why did you disappoint your sons? why did you let your partner hurt? why did you put us on the run? and how can you drive your family away? how can you make your loved ones cry? how can you just sit there and pray? how can you make me want to die?
16.
i never meant to hurt no one, but i was in love and i flew too close to the sun, so i’ll pour myself another one, and i’ll be careful, yes, i’ll be more careful next time i’ll try to assert my independence and not be so quick to lower my defenses i’ve faced the consequences now i’ll come to my senses somehow but that would make me feel so glum, and i’m told that i should loosen up and have some fun, so i’ll pour myself yet another one, and i’ll be careful, yes, i’ll be more careful next time i’ll try not dodging all your glances and not getting hung up on bitter circumstances on you i’ll take my chances and come to my senses somehow yeah, yeah but i’ll be careful yes, i’ll be more careful
17.
sick of writing pop songs and living in the daylight sitting in a building and suffering from bug bites pizza night and x-files is getting overrated i could get some lunch now but i already ate it if only you were in town we’d have so much fun but you work at the pool five days a week until the summer’s done and so i’m on my own work is really boring and so is eating takeout think i’m getting fatter and i’m starting to break out running out of money i spent it all on dumb shit summer plus depression means i can’t really function if only you were in town we could spend our time kissing all day in bed and staying up all night if only you were in town but you live back home so i’ll write you a bunch of songs every now and then until the summer’s done so i won’t feel alone
18.
from the top 01:49
let’s start this from the top yet again, you say it’s all off proceed, go down the line what the hell is wrong this time? so long i’ve lived a lie try to fix you, wonder why darling, you want symmetry? well, i’m afraid i disagree i tried living with it on my own but i just can’t pull myself together i swear if i can’t make it all alone well, then, i’m lost so let’s do this one more time from the top
19.
pretending 01:09
wake up in the morning when it gets bright sunlight feels so blinding without my love i know it’s not right i wish she were beside me i want to sleep a little while longer but my bed feels so empty feeling so alone and touching myself as i go on pretending getting pretty tired and i could use a drink and some time to myself miss my medication, i get so afraid for who can know what might help? sometimes i wish that i was back home and love was neverending, but tomorrow i’ll awaken when it gets bright and go right on pretending
20.
the toll 02:41
something kept me up at night tired of the day hiding from the outside i was sick and terrified afraid to speak its name for fear of what it sounds like but when i lost my way i had no choice but to accept it and try to take control i swear i’d die before i’d let it take its toll so i called her on the phone and though we were in love i told her it was over spent a couple days at home and when i’d had enough and i felt so much older i came back to this town and tried to get myself together and soon i was prescribed with medication to make it better and now i feel so strong but when i see her i remember when i was filled with holes i swear i’ll die before i let her take her toll

credits

released August 21, 2015

Peter Vilardi - acoustic guitar, keyboard, piano, banjo, vocals, recording, mixing, mastering
Nick Lantz - leg
Jacob Midkiff - photography, artwork
Allison "Freddy" Freed - laptop

much love and many thanks to: Mom, Luka, Dylan, Thomas, Grandma, Brendan, Shannon, Michael Paul, Vika, Jacob, Nick, Ryan, Andy, Rachel, Dotty, Joe, Chase, Alex, Nate, Chris, Mark, Freddy, Natalie, CJ, and Troy. without all of you, i couldn't have done any of this. this album is for you.

i'd also like to give special recognition to C. and D.; you both inspired a lot of these songs. this album is for you, too.

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peter vilardi Columbus, Ohio

musician, author, composer. some of this stuff is solo singer-songwriter material. the rest is my portfolio of soundtracks for independent films. either way, i hope you enjoy it!

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